01. "Introduction" – 0:36
02. "The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage" – 2:54
03. "London Beckoned Songs About Money Written by Machines" – 3:23
04. "Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks" – 3:23
05. "Camisado" – 3:11
06. "Time to Dance" – 3:22
07. "Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" – 3:20
08. "Intermission" – 2:35
09. "But It's Better If You Do" – 3:25
10. "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" – 3:06
11. "I Constantly Thank God for Esteban" – 3:30
12. "There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet" – 3:16
13. "Build God, Then We'll Talk" – 3:40
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